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Chapter 10

Posted by PURPLEYHAN STORIES on Sunday, January 8, 2017

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Seventh Sense is considered as a higher level of sensing ability. Knowing the strengths and weaknesses of your own sixth sense is the first step in understanding this ability. Once achieved, the sixth senses and minds of the users can become one and it will boost their power and capability.

That place. Later.

God. I can't concentrate.
I shoved the books in the drawer and plopped myself on the bed since I can't understand what I just decoded because of his words. Remembering that made me giddy and uneasy.

"Oohh. It has been a long time since you've been this distracted," Akira suddenly said and she looked at me with a taunting smile.
"What? I'm not." Bigla naman niyang tinuro ang ulo niya.
"The head never lies. Your inner voice is reverberating through the room. Right, Akemi?"

Doon ko narealize na tama siya. My mind was opened and I didn't even notice it.

"Huh?"

Napatingin naman kami kay Akemi dahil mukhang distracted din siya kaya naman napailing na lang si Akira.

"Hay. Bakit ba ganito ang roommates ko?" sabi niya habang nakatingin sa kisame.

Napabuntong-hininga naman ako dahil sa dami ng iniisip ko ngayon. I feel like my mind is going to burst any moment so I decided to ask her for some advice.
Lumabas ako ng kwarto at hinayaan ko muna sina Akemi at Akira. Pumunta ako sa kabila at naabutan kong tulog si Michiko habang si Mayu naman ay inaalagaan si Hiroshi.

"Hey," tawag ko at pareho silang tumingin. Bigla namang naglakad si Hiroshi papunta sa direksyon ko kaya umupo ako at sinalubong siya.
"Is there any problem?" Mayu asked while cleaning Hiroshi's mess.
"W-well . . . uhm . . . I think I need some advice."

***

"So? Ano bang pag-uusapan natin? Though I think I know it already," sabi ni Mayu nang makaupo kami sa bench malapit sa fountain. Madilim na pero dahil sa holographic lights sa plaza ay nagmukhang maliwanag pa rin ang paligid.
"Mitsuo." After saying his name, Mayu smiled at me. "He's been invading my mind lately and it feels strange."
"I thought you like him?"
"Yes, that's because I have the same symptoms written on the book." Pagkasabi ko no'n ay saglit na natawa si Mayu kaya naman nagtaka ako.
"You're too naive," she said and looked at me with her calculating eyes. "But you know, love isn't something you study and observe. It's something you feel."
"But why do I like him?"
"And it's something you can't easily explain," she added.

Nag-usap pa kami ng ilang minuto at kahit papaano ay may mga natutunan ako sa kanya. Mayu has always been the mother and the older sister of the Atama family and when it comes to matters we don't understand, we always talk to her. Her insights helped me understand my situation and how to deal with it.
Nagpalipas pa kami ro'n hanggang sa kailangan na niyang umuwi para kay Hiroshi. Nagpaiwan naman ako at nagstay na lang sa harap ng fountain. Bigla ko namang naalala sina Akemi at Mitsuo. Those two have a lot of things in common and both of them are too secretive. I heard Akemi saying the name Dana one time, though I don't know who she is, and Mitsuo said something about being an executioner.
Because of those thoughts, I decided to go to the library since there's still an hour before the curfew. Pagdating ko ro'n ay wala nang tao at tanging ang librarian na lang. Nagkatinginan kami pero agad kong iniwas ang paningin ko dahil sa ginawa ko last time.
Pumunta ako sa History section at nagtingin ng ilang libro tungkol sa Shinigamis. I don't want to assume but their actions were giving me reasons to be skeptical about them.
Nakita ko naman ang isang journal na sinulat ng sikat na Senshin historian.

Shinigamis and Senshins share the same lineage but our customs and beliefs are too contrasting. As someone who encountered a lot of Shinigamis during my missions, I can say that they are vicious and bloodthirsty. One of them singlehandedly slaughtered my students, without any remorse, just because they are Senshins. Their black cloaks, murderous and intense gaze, sinister smiles, and silent movements showed no mercy. No compassion at all. No matter how hard I believe that one day, the Erityian race will attain peace, reality is always there to show me that it won't happen. As long as Shinigami's hatred and Senshin's retaliation continue, we won't attain order.

After reading that entry, Akemi and Mitsuo, with their menacing faces, appeared in my mind and I immediately shuddered. The thought of them being Shinigamis was too frightening and disturbing.
Sinarado ko kaagad ang libro at huminga ako nang malalim para kalmahin ang sarili ko. Ni hindi ko nga namalayan na isasara na ang library kaya pinaalis ako ng librarian. Dumiretso naman ako sa dorm and as usual, wala na naman silang dalawa. Akira might be training alone while Akemi . . . well I'm not sure. Hideo must be monitoring her right now.
Humiga lang ako at nagpalipas ng oras hanggang sa mag-2 AM na.

That place. Later.

Nagprepare ako para umalis. I brought my fan, just in case, and dragged myself to that place.
I've been sneaking out these past few months and remembering those times made me want to punish myself for breaking the rules. Unlike the Central Plaza that shines brightly, this place is covered with darkness. I carefully paced toward the trees and saw his silhouette. Bigla ko tuloy naalala ang unang beses na nagkita kami rito nang hindi sinasadya. He was looking at the sky that time, with his serene expression.

"You came, huh?" he said as he turned around and somehow, I can't read his expression.
"So, what do you want to say?" sabi ko naman pero hindi ako makalapit sa kanya. My body was frozen and my heart went into frenzy.

All of a sudden, he marched toward me and my mind went restless. I want to move but my body won't listen, and in the end, he stood in front of me and stared at me with those vehement eyes.

"Hindi ko akalaing ilang buwan na ang nakakalipas," sabi niya habang nakatingin sa akin. "I can't believe I survived here." Naguluhan naman ako sa mga sinabi niya. Was he implying something?
"Are you leaving?" I asked and his smile answered my question.
"I do not belong here. I told you, didn't I? You shouldn't get close to me but you're too persistent." 'And I ended up caring for you. Hah. I'm doomed.' When I heard his thoughts, my breathing became erratic.
"W-why?" I whispered since I can't breathe anymore.
"I must return to my rightful place."

Bigla kong naalala ang nabasa ko at kahit na alam kong hindi ito ang tamang oras ay tinanong ko pa rin siya.

"And where is that place? A-are you perhaps an enemy?" I asked but he just gave me a sneer.
"It's better if you do not know," he said and his contemptuous smile frustrated me.
"Why? Is it because you're a Shinigami?" sabay hawak ko sa pamaypay na nasa bulsa lang ng coat ko. I was dead serious about that but he stared at me, as if I just said something ridiculous, and after a few seconds, he burst out laughing.

I was beyond annoyed but seeing him cracking up made me feel antsy yet satisfied. Ngayon ko lang siya nakitang ganyan at hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko.

"You're really funny," dagdag niya pa kaya sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.
"I'm not," I protested but he just shrugged. Naging seryoso naman ulit ang mukha niya kaya napatigil ako.
"I'm not," sabi niya rin at hindi ko alam kung bakit ako naniniwala. Part of me wanted to believe that he's a Shinigami but another part of me was relieved to hear that he's not.
"Then, who are you?"
"A memory," he answered. "Someone you should treat as one."

They said that eyes can't lie and I can clearly see that from him. Once again, his memories flooded my head and those bodies and blood made me uneasy.

"I'll leave during the break and tell them that I won't return anymore," he said, unenthusiastic.
"Why me?" tanong ko naman at hindi ko na alam ang nararamdaman ko. Hindi siya nakasagot at tinitigan niya lang ako kaya naman sinuntok ko siya sa dibdib. "Why? Are you afraid to face them?" Hindi ulit siya sumagot. "Then, I don't want to," sabi ko at saka ako tumalikod.

Nagsimula akong maglakad palayo habang kung anu-ano ang tumatakbo sa isip ko. He will leave during the break and that's only a week from now. I was about to run but he suddenly said something that made me stop.

"Because you're making it harder for me to leave." Pagkasabi niya no'n ay may kung ano akong naramdaman pero hindi ko alam kung ano. Huminto lang ako sa paglalakad pero hindi ko siya nilingon. "You keep on appearing and I don't know how to deal with you, that's why I want to end this here. Let's stop 
this."

Is this his concept of closure? I don't even know what he meant by 
this. I don't understand him and I don't like the feeling of being confused.

"Forget about me," he said and I felt a twinge in my chest.
"But . . . I like you," I breathed and my voice trailed off. I was frustrated and desperate because I can't understand a thing, that I ended up saying those words. Gusto kong bawiin ang mga salitang 'yon pero hindi ko alam kung paano.
"Please don't."

After hearing that, I felt hurt. For the first time, I was broken.


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